Softened the Boursin cheese in a large Pyrex bowl. You can leave it at room temperature for about an hour or carefully nuke it in the microwave for about 15 seconds. You want it softened and stirrable, not liquefied. Add the pepper relish, salt, and pepper to the Boursin cheese and stir it up well to combine everything. Place the bowl in the freezer for 15 minutes to firm up the cheese a bit. Meanwhile, prep the peppers.

Before I go any further, you’re going to be handling jalapenos. Any pepper juice on your fingers will burn anything you touch. So no fingers in your eyes, no picking your nose, no scratching your crotch, and wash your hands thoroughly when you’re done with the prep.

Now clean the jalapenos. Rinse them under cold water and pat them dry with a kitchen towel. Set up a large cutting board to work on. Pick a pepper and act like you’re going to slice the stem off about 1/4" down from the top of the pepper, but only slice half way through. This will create a little "hinged" lid which will look pretty when you’re done. Now start in the middle of that slit and cut down the length of the pepper to the other end, but only through the upper half of the pepper (don’t cut the pepper into two separate pieces). This will let you open the pepper to get at the insides and allow you to fold it back together when you’re done.

Gently open up the pepper like a book, but not too far; you don’t want to break it. Use a small paring knife to cut away the inner membranes and seeds. Finish up by scraping the inside with a teaspoon to get the last little bits out. Set the pepper aside and repeat for the remaining peppers.

Take the cheese bowl out of the freezer. It should be less oozy, but still workable. Using a tablespoon, scoop up some cheese, open a pepper up slightly, and scrape the cheese into the jalapeno. Don’t overstuff it! Put just enough in there to fill it up and close the pepper back up to almost its original size and shape. Use the spoon or a finger to scrape off any excess from the outside of the pepper. Repeat for the remaining peppers.

Get out a jelly roll pan and line it with aluminum foil. Place a cooling rack into the lined jelly roll pan and spray it down with Pam. This will keep the peppers out of the pooling bacon grease. Now bacon time! Take a strip of bacon and give it a little stretch then lay it on the cutting board. Starting near the tip of the pepper, use a toothpick to secure one end of the bacon to the pepper. Spiral the bacon around the pepper to cover it and use a toothpick to secure the other end. Place it on the rack in the jelly roll pan. Repeat for the remaining peppers.  Spray the turds with Pam and sprinkle them with Emeril’s Essence.